It seems that pregnancy loss has become more talked about. It is not such a hushed topic. The past few months we have been dealing with our own pregnancy loss. The joy of becoming pregnant sadly turned to disappointment at our 6 week dating scan.
Alas the pregnancy appeared to have ceased at about 5 weeks and there was no little baby to be found on the screen. The next week was filled with blood tests and anxiety though in our hearts i think we knew that this pregnancy was not to be. Another ultrasound confirmed our fears and we were referred to the Early Pregnancy Clinic at North Shore hospital. A supportive and kind team that gave us our options.
We scheduled surgery but thankfully the pregnancy ended naturally at nearly 8 weeks (it was not painful or scary as it can be sometimes). This too had to be confirmed by ultrasound and lab results.
I have been recovering physically and emotionally over the past few weeks. Now that my body is returning to normal and I feel well again it almost seems like a dream. We believe that this much wanted baby must have not formed due to a problem and nature stepped in early. Alongside the grief was much relief that it was an early miscarriage, physically I am ok and that statistically it is unlikely that this will happen again. We were uplifted by the kind words and gestures of friends and family. Something to be ever thankful for.
There are some good resources out there that I accessed when processing my own feelings. This interview on the Practising Simplicity blog helped along with the material given to me at the Early Pregnancy clinic. Our GP was incredibly helpful too. I found talking with friends therapeutic and threw myself into crafting projects where I could escape from the sense of loss for an hour or two.
Though common, indeed very common pregnancy loss is a trying time. By opening up here I hope that a story shared may just help another woman one day. And in the meantime reflect on a little light that won't yet shine in this world.